Life In The Life After – Part 5: What’s So Funny About Peace, Love, and Understanding?
As a fan of Elvis Costello and listening to this great song recently it inspired me to think about a bereaved young woman who I gave a reading to last year. To respect her privacy I will call her Julie in this blog.
It was a poignant situation.
Having been recently married to her childhood sweetheart who I will call Mike, and who was the man she was prepared to wait for in the wake of attention from other suitors, Julie believed Mike was her soul mate. After many years of friendship Mike finally realised her beauty, his fullest of feelings for her and asked her to marry him.
Julie was ecstatic and fulfilled with the proposal which she eagerly accepted and so the couple began their new life together, planning, house hunting, nights in front of the fire with a glass of wine and lots of talks about the long and loving future ahead for them both.
Shortly after that heady time of hope and excitement Mike, after a swimming session and at just 45 years old had a heart attack and was physically gone from Julies’ life and the life they shared together.
During the empty and seemingly desperate time that followed Julie tried with the help of family and friends to adjust to life without Mike by her side to guide her, comfort her, share with her and laugh with her.
And then a good friend of Mike began to call regularly to ask if he could help in some way.
At first Julie refused although appreciated the care, sinking deeper into her shell as the months went by, but the friend continued to call however many times he was sent away.
Week by week, month by month Julie found herself opening up to him as his smile continued to grace her doorstep relentlessly but she kept the situation at a distance because of the love and loyalty she still felt for her husband.
Then Julie began to notice changes and experienced feelings that suggested Mike was trying to tell her something but as much as she tried Julie could not decide what this was.
Concerned about the new friendship she had found, Julie began to worry that her husband was unhappy with her accepting help and attention from his friend and needed to find out what these feelings meant.
As soon as I welcomed Julie into my studio Mike was present. I knew nothing of the situation at the time but I sensed urgency and relief from him that she was there.
Later into the reading, with Mike having given clear evidence of his identity and the history of the situation I was asked to pass on a message to her.
‘Please tell her I sent my friend to look after her – tell her it’s ok to start again’
Julie was shocked and bewildered
‘ I couldn’t’ She said ‘Mike was my everything, I couldn’t bear for him to watch me start again with someone else’
Her husband replied ‘life is too short to live it alone and I want you to be happy’
I then explained to Julie that most people who pass to Spirit are concerned about those they love still in this world, especially those they have shared relationships with.
Our Life’s Journey
Part of the process of understanding Spirit life is that we are all on a journey that has a far wider and higher purpose that we often cannot see through the window of earthly life and is often realised when we pass to Spirit.
Feelings of jealousy or anguish are not felt or necessary as the Spirit realises that their loved one still loves them, has not forgotten them and will meet them again in Spirit at a point further on in time If they chose, along with other partners they may each have had in their lives.
Those we share our life with is predetermined by mutual agreement of each person before beginning this life for the growth and experience of all parties.
A loved one in Spirit will understand and accept new people into the life of the partner, and as in the relationship with Julie and Mike, the friend was encouraged to step in for love.
The outcome of Julie’s friendship after the reading I do not know but I do know that Julie left the reading much lighter and happier knowing that if she chose to start again, then Mike would be in complete support of that.
I have spoken to many people who chose not to start relationships after the loss of a partner which is of course a freewill choice, and I encourage anyone who chooses this over happiness because of loyalty, and not wishing to hurt the feelings of the loved one in Spirit, to embrace the love which is the only language Spirit speak.
After all, and in the words of Mr. Costello ‘What’s so funny about peace, love, and understanding?’