From Spirit With Love – Part 13

Paula

There are times in most mediums lives when we have doubts about our work. Often these can be small niggling ones which we come to expect as a part of our everyday life, and sometimes things can happen that cause a medium to question their entire life’s’ work, resulting in them giving up completely. It can happen to any one of us.

I constantly work at my relationship with Spirit so that I know that I can trust what I’m receiving. That’s not easy, and requires a cast iron belief in the knowledge that I have.

One very painful experience however, shook my faith to the core. I shall draw on the memory of it for years to come.    

Life was good, my work was flowing steadily and on a bright October day in 1999, my mother and I were making our way home after a pleasant afternoon’s shopping. As I was driving steadily through the winding country lanes a chill wind whipped up the reds and golds of autumn’s leaves in a dance of honour of the summer that had passed.

I could not have felt more at peace with the world. With the prospect of autumn turning to winter came the cosy feelings of snug afternoons in front of the fire, spicy winter stews and then Christmas, my favourite time of the year.

As we rounded the last bend in the small picturesque stone built village of Uffington in Lincolnshire, there seemed to be a commotion. There were police vehicles on both sides of the road and people with and without uniforms were stopping passing traffic. I slowed the car down and as we passed through undisturbed, I commented to Mum that I thought something serious must have happened. The hairs prickled under the collar of my jacket.

‘Oh, there’s been a murder’ said mum ‘Didn’t you know?’ I replied that I didn’t, and felt a bit shocked that a tiny peaceful village such as this could have been the setting for such a crime.

‘It happened on the day before yesterday’ mum explained  ‘A local businesswoman was found dead in her swimming pool, back up there a bit’  she pointed over her shoulder towards the houses we had just driven past. I was about to say how dreadful I thought it was when I felt a spirit presence with us who I sensed was distressed. Within moments I needed to pull over and stop the car because I couldn’t get my breath.

‘Sorry mum’ my hand was at my throat. ‘I think she just got in the car with us’

Visions came pouring into my head and I didn’t need to ask for any information, there was a lot that the lady wanted to say. She was a pretty, lightly tanned woman with shoulder length hair the colour of straw and I felt that she’d taken a blow to the back of the head from a man that she knew. The names of Elizabeth and Tracey were called out  and I was shown a silver Jeep- style vehicle and a cream coloured classic styled jaguar. The name of David was also mentioned and as I tried to soothe her mentally, she showed me a very clear picture of a pleasant looking man who I thought was in his thirties with dark short- cropped hair and wearing a polo necked sweater under a smart jacket. I instinctively knew that he had taken her life.

I relayed this information to mum and I assured the young woman that I would pass this on to the police if I could and although she was quiet now, I knew she was still with us in the car as we drove into the next town.

I stopped at the newsagents to get a local paper because for one reason or another I really hadn’t heard a thing about the murder even though it happened just four miles away. I don’t buy newspapers for that very reason with people booking private sittings with me.

Back in the car I gingerly unfolded the paper and looked at the front page as my heart seemed to leap into my mouth. A picture of Diane Emerson-Hawley, a pretty, tanned, blonde woman looking radiant on her wedding day smiled back at me.

‘Oh, mum, look at this’ I showed her the photograph of the murdered woman. Mum frowned ‘What will you do, love?’

‘I can’t really do anything’ I realised quietly. ‘The police would probably think I’m another potty psychic. All we can do is ask for healing for her’

A Difficult Situation

I felt very subdued when I got home having dropped mum off first, and after explaining to Dave what had happened, he logged the information in a time file on his computer so that if I should decide to go to the police, they would have proof that I had received the details on that day. As far as I was concerned, passing this on to the police was out of the question.

Sometimes they can take a dim view of psychics who contact them with information on crimes such as this, and while we all want to help, I can’t say I blame them really as they must deal strictly with evidential facts. While I know that some police forces regularly use a psychic for extra input, many mediums have had their best intentions rejected, myself included. I simply felt that whoever was responsible for this act, justice would be done through the proper channels.

That was, of course until Dave came home the following day, having been to see our friend who is a police sergeant, and told him about my experience.

‘He would be interested to know what other information you have’ It was a best intention to help but I really didn’t feel that I should get involved, although after giving it some thought I wondered if I was being nudged by the Spirit World, and if so, would it be right not to speak out?

I took the information to our friend, including a drawing of the man that I had been shown by Diane, and he passed it to a higher authority. Later that day I had a phone call from the Detective Inspector who was leading the investigation. It was difficult to tell through his professional exterior what he thought of me as he took my details.

‘Was it her husband that killed her?’  He asked directly,

‘No, I think it was his brother’ I was equally direct. He said that he would call again if necessary and I thought I could go on with my life, but however hard I tried, I couldn’t get Diane out of my mind.

She was there when I closed my eyes and I couldn’t seem to move myself away from almost every news bulletin around the clock on every television channel possible. I felt withdrawn and sad and no matter what I tried to do, and regardless of how I had been trained to deal with this kind of situation, I was starting to live every moment by the television or radio, hoping to catch a glimpse of some news that confirmed that I was right. I felt I had to be right for Diane.

On the following Friday evening I was booked at Spalding to give a demonstration which I must say, I didn’t feel up to doing. I felt that I had been on an emotional rollercoaster all week, and I was tired. However the evening went well and some lovely messages came through.

After the demonstration had finished an attractive blonde woman approached me with a pale – faced teenage girl tucked behind her.

She said that they enjoyed the evening but she was hoping that her sister who had recently passed over, would have come through, The young girl spoke calmly ‘My mum was murdered’

Her frankness took me by surprise. The thought of a young girl losing her mum in such tragic circumstances pulled at my heartstrings. I tried to reassure them both that I felt sure that the lady was there, but was just not able to make the connection that evening and that they mustn’t give up.

Sitting with a cup of tea later at home and thinking through the evening as I always did after a demonstration, I couldn’t help but feel sad for the amount of tragedy in the world. In the space of one week I had heard of two murders of seemingly innocent women, taken in the prime of their lives and within a 12 mile radius of my home. It seemed senseless.

Trust

The following day a bombshell fell on my world. A man had been arrested in connection with Diane’s murder and having sat with the news all day as events unfolded I began to feel a uneasy. Apart from Diane’s description none of the developments matched the information I had given to the police. ‘It’s okay’ I reassured myself ‘There’s more to come forward yet’ but inside I began to worry.

The more detailed the case became, the more I began to fall apart. I can’t explain why I reacted so badly and neither can I explain why, when the word ‘trust’ kept coming from spirit and into my head, I wouldn’t accept it. I had begun to think that my imagination had taken over and if that was so, it had felt like all other times I had received and passed on information from Spirit. Was that all in my mind as well?

I began to think of all the people I may had innocently deceived with an overactive imagination and that thought was beyond all pain I had ever felt. My sense of reason was suddenly gone and I no longer felt worthy as a medium.

The days that followed passed in a blur. I cancelled sittings that I had booked for that week, knowing that it wasn’t fair or right to try and work in such an emotional state, and I knew that I couldn’t work without trust. I was angry with myself and for the first time ever, I was angry with my Spirit Guide Thom. I am ashamed to say that I raved  at him, wanting to know why he would do this to someone who had dedicated their life to service. I refused to listen to his reply thinking it would probably be my own mind answering anyway.

I was shattered and I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like living with the idea that the last three years could have been created from my mind.

The family were very supportive, and somehow they knew that I didn’t want to hear about it all working out in the end, how could it? They listened and said little, keeping the faith with Thom even if I couldn’t.

After the first two weeks I was persuaded to honour the last few bookings I had and was determined not take anymore. If they didn’t work then all I could do was apologise and not charge for the sittings.

As soon as I had made this decision I had a phone call from the woman I spoke to at Spalding who had lost her sister.     

‘I’d like to book a sitting with you’ she explained. I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t taking bookings but I couldn’t and I didn’t know why. I felt that I had to try even if I only used the time to talk to her about the Spirit World, easing her despair. She told me that her name was Sam.

The appointment was made for the following Friday and on that morning I tried tentatively to tune in to the Spirit Word, and asked that for the sake of Sam and her family, could they give me something however small that would help. The name of `Val’ kept going around in my head, but nothing else.

At one o’clock sharp, the doorbell rang. I was nervous and the palms of my hands were clammy. I had told Thom that this was going to be the last sitting and asked that he give me the kind of help that I would know could only have come from Spirit. The familiar face of the blonde haired woman smiled warmly at me as she stepped into the hall, and she turned to the tall, slim, boyish faced man beside her.

‘This is my sister’s friend’ I shook his hand and welcomed him, sensing that that he too was nervous. I half noticed the silver jeep that they had arrived in.

‘I’m afraid that my friend wants to stay outside, she’s too scared to come in’ Sam smiled apologetically. I asked what she was afraid of and after a short discussion I decided to go out and talk to her. I asked what her name was.

‘It’s Val’ Sam replied. I began to think that Thom was on hand.

After several minutes chat Val decided that she really didn’t want to come in, which was fair enough so I went back indoors and tried to settle down to the sitting.

A few details were given which neither of them could accept and knots began to form, turning somersaults in my stomach. Then I became aware of a young woman beside me with blonde shoulder length hair, well groomed, and aged around thirty – six.  

‘Well my sister was thirty – three, but she fits the description’ said Sam. I continued. ‘She’s telling me that she trained in hairdressing and beauty therapy’

‘Yes, she did’

‘Now she’s telling me that she went home that night, and she was struck on the back of the head. A man was waiting for her’

‘That’s right’

‘He was a man she knew well’

‘It was her husband’ Sam confirmed.

‘She’s calling out the name of Paul’

The man who had been quiet until then came to life with a smile ‘That’s me!’   

The young spirit woman went on to describe exactly what happened when her life was taken by a man that was jealous and vengeful. She described, and then talked about details of other family members that Sam was able to confirm.

Falling Into Place

I admired them for their strength during the sitting, especially as it had happened so recently. As the sitting came to an end, Sam’s sister sent her love to the family and assured them that she was okay. As they left I felt that between us we had achieved something special and healing.

After reflecting on the sitting something was troubling me because the details of the sitting I’d just given were uncannily similar to those of the Uffington murder.

I just did not know what to do for the best and so I decided to call Sam and run the details past her that were given at the time when I thought Diane was communicating with me.

I felt dreadful but nonetheless decided that if these details belonged to Sam’s sister, then the right thing to do was to tell her. I felt I had nothing left to lose. Strangely enough, Diane had also been a beautician and hairdresser It was all very unsettling.

With some apprehension, I rang Sam and explained briefly what had happened, and that because the information was given from spirit when I stopped the car at Uffington, I had not linked the evidence to her sister, Paula.

‘So you see, Sam’ I explained cautiously, later that afternoon on the phone ‘I felt I had to ring you’

Sam was very understanding ‘ We also noticed the similarities in the Uffington murder and have followed the case’ I began to describe the details I was given.

‘The cream jaguar belonged to my husband, and Paula loved it’ Sam said with the fondness of a memory in her voice ‘And the silver jeep vehicle is mine’  she went on, ‘Paulas husband fits the description you’ve given and he used to always wear polo- necked sweaters and a jacket’ The names of Tracy and Elizabeth were people known to Paula but we couldn’t place David.

I realised the possibility of receiving details of both murders at the same time and when we worked the dates out, I realised that I was booked to work in Spalding only a few days after my experience in Uffington.  It was also entirely possible that it was Paula, and not Diane, who had given me the information that day, finding it easier to communicate while my mind was receptive to a similar situation. There had been so much publicity about the Uffington murder that I wasn’t looking for a similarity between them.

For the next few days after phoning Sam my emotions were everywhere and I knew that I had been so wrong as I realised that my spirit friends would never let me down. I was heavy with guilt but overcome with relief, and deeply touched by the strength, love and dignity of Paula’s’ family as they try to find a way to come to terms with the loss of a beautiful sister who was also a mother, and grandmother    

I will never quite know what happened in that situation but felt sure that I was being tested, not to cause me pain but to make me realise that spirit are always there. Perhaps it wasn’t Diane in the car with us at all that day, but Paula, although the man who was charged with Diane’s murder was her husbands’ friend, who had been the best man at their wedding, and a family friend for many years. He was looked upon as a brother.

Next time: All In A Day’s Work!

Donna Stewart Copyright 2018